My year in a video

Last Post from Spain (?!)

for the gypsy children

(june 2013)

we let the summer wind

etch it on our bones that

this was Our Time,

our lives to live,

our bodies to hurl

into the depths of

sea and space;

our late nights with

bottles of red wine

our early mornings

dark and muddy –

hot coffee;

we learned the language

of movements, strange words,

time,

then the absence of it –

listen:

dry golden grass whispers

secrets in the ears of gypsy children

(for we follow the road, the road, the

road)

let the giant orange moon

guide our ways home –

separate paths, but hoping

to meet again

 Someday –

it’s Our Time,

we say,

our world to explore,

to save,

to adore,

our trails and our trials

our distance in miles

our rivers and roads

it’s Our Choice

to grow Old.

to love, and let love,

to live, and let go.

 




The countdown app on my ipod informs me that I have 4 days , 11 hours and 50 minutes until 12 AM on Saturday, the time I will arrive at my home in Flagstaff and see my family for the first time in 10 months. This friday I will go to a hotel near the Madrid Barajas airport with all the other AFSers in Spain, and the next morning at 9:30 the Americans have their flight to Zurich, then from there to New York. We'll arrive at about 5 PM in New York (due to time changes) and then I have my flight to Phoenix at 8, which lands around 10:50 I think (again, a time change). My dad and Blake are going to come to the airport to oick me up, and then home!

 Yes, it has already been 10 months; 10 of the most difficult, incredible, challenging and fulfilling months of my life. If you had asked me 10 months ago to imagine myself coming home, I would probably have given you a clearer answer about my expectations and feelings, haha. I would have told you how much I was craving mexican food, or how I longed to walk in my forest again. I'm still looking forward to those things, but they no longer have such a frontal space in my mind. Sometimes, now, it is difficult to imagine my return: what will I do without the metro/train/overall excellent transportation system? What will I do on Saturday nights instead of hanging out in the center of one the the largest cities in Europe? Most of all I wonder: how on earth will I deal with the fact that there are so many new and wonderful people in my life that I will probably never see again?

Going away from the U.S. was different, because throughout this entire experience I have known that I will come back. Leaving Spain, I am uncertain of when I will return. And now that my friends are from so many countries, how can I be certain that in my lifetime I'll be able to make it to Thailand, Norway, Sweden, Turkey, Japan? While I am very excited to be home once again, I am also going to miss Spain and my life and friends here very much.

What I realized the other day is that studying abroad has taught me much more than another language and culture. It has taught me not to take things for granted, and that my happiness does not depend on anything other than myself and how I think about things. It has taught me how to adapt, and has given me the chance to overcome a lot of the social anxiety I faced before. I have never felt more confident about myself and who I am and what I stand for than I do now, and I am so, so excited for the rest of my life.

The fact that I only have a few days left here is giving me a lot of mixed feelings, but more than anything I want to thank everyone (here and in the U.S.) for all the support they have given me, both in coming to Spain and in my time here. My family in the states, both my families here, my friends from all the corners of this world, the kindness of complete strangers. I am so grateful for all of it, for all of you. Thank you so much.

picnic with my friends in Alcorcon

Coffee at the bar Hemingway used to frequent. David and Joris (see next pic) are exchange students living in Catalunya this year, and they both came and visited me for three days which was a lot of fun!

packing! how on earth will I do this without my mom?!

last saturday night in Madrid

I don't know when I'll be posting again, as I plan to take a much-needed break from the interwebs when I get back to Flag, although I will still be checking my email (autuumncc@gmail.com) if anyone wants to contact me.