El Cambio

El Cambio. The change. "Cambiar", or "to change" is one of the first verbs I remember learning when I first arrived in Spain, nearly 3 months ago.

I've been avoiding writing this blog post for a week or two now. The fact is, tomorrow I will be leaving my current host family - where I will be living, I still don't know. I do not want anyone to get the idea that my host family and I do not get along or were having problems, because honestly we are a pretty perfect match. They were even planning on hosting me the entire year, rather than just half (which they put on the application because they had very understandable concerns about how difficult it could be to have a host student). The problem is that my host grandmother - my mother's mother - will be undergoing brain surgery next week, and my mother will need to live with her for awhile to care for her. This, along with the general stress this puts on my family, is why I am changing.

I am sad that I will be changing families, because as stated above, I could not have been placed with a better family for the person I am, and they are just honestly some of the sweetest and most understanding people I know. It's also sad that there is a possibility that I will need to change schools, because I really enjoy my school and my classes and have made a lot of really great friends. I want to be able to tell you all that I could be placed with a host family here in Alcorcon or close by, but I honestly have no idea what is going on right now. All I know is that I am somehow going to be able to finish the trimester at my current school - this I have been promised.

As those exchange students who have had to change families know, it is not a prospect one can look forward to with ease. Upon arriving in your host country, your host family becomes the first place that you begin to feel secure in, a little area of sanctity in an otherwise unknown universe. The idea of having to "start all over" in sense is very difficult to come to terms with.

But here is what I'm trying to say in a nutshell: change is hard. You don't always expect it. Often, you can't do anything about it.

Yet at the same time you have to try and remain positive. I have been looking back on all the amazing changes that have happened since I've arrived in Spain: I now am pretty much conversational in Spanish. I have had my eyes opened on what it means to be fully responsible for yourself. I have turned 16. Made friends. Stepped outside my comfort zone.

With changing families I will have the opportunity to meet many more people and become part of their lives as well, and this I do look forward to. I have fear, yes, but also hope and excitement because I refuse to let this make my exchange experience any less. Change is inevitable; sometimes it is big and all encompassing, and sometimes it is small and slow. But how we react to changes is what determines whether they are for the better or worse.

(This post is a little heavy. Expect a more light-hearted update about birthday and thanksgiving and school soon.)